100 Ways to Annoy Breakdown:
1) Mention Bulkhead and his human companion Miko.
2) Ask Breakdown how his relationship is going with Starscream, Knockout, and/or Bulkhead.
3) Say 'Hammer Time' every time you see him.
4) Make fun of Breakdown for getting caught by MECH.
5) Call Breakdown a pirate and keep insisting to see if not go inside of his missing optic socket.
6) Ask Breakdown why he didn't allow Knockout to replace said optic.
7) Tell Breakdown if he could control his temper he may actually be able to beat up more then concrete slabs in battle.
8) Tell Breakdown his slogan: "Never run when you can fight" is bologna. You see him running by the end of every episode.
9) Pull a prank on Knockout that involves his paintjob and point all the evidence at Breakdown.
10) Ask Breakdown if his name implies something he does when nobodies looking (i.e you can figure the dancing or crying version to be the best).
11) Poke Breakdown's eye-patch and when he turns to see who it is hide. Keep doing so as long as you can get away with it.
12) Ask Breakdown furiously why he insists on harming Knockout in battle so often.
13) Ask Breakdown when he traded in his skittish side for some real bearings and bulk.
14) Shout 'Brofist' or 'Foefist' during episode "Out of His Head" when Bulkhead's shielded fist and Breakdown's hammer come in contact with one another.
15) Ask Breakdown how it feels to know Screamer has blackmail hanging over his head. Then point out, snickering, that you're sure Breakdown would do anything to keep said information hidden from Megatron.
16) Show this video to Breakdown; (Copy and paste this URL: www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GvRP6… and have it play automatically nonstop all day. Proves to show that he's a real pirate. [Kindly submitted by ~RogueScarlett.]
17) Tease him that Captain Jack Sparrow is the sexiest pirate in the whole Universe. [Kindly submitted by ~RogueScarlett.]
18) Speak pirate-talk to him. [Kindly submitted by ~RogueScarlett.]
19) See number 25 and 26 of 'Ways to Annoy Knockout'. [Kindly submitted by ~ahunmaster.]
20) Bribe Soundwave into borrowing one of the bird cassetticons and have them sit on Breakdown's shoulder. Buy yourself some ice cream if you can convince the cassetticon to repeat everything Breakdown says like a real parrot. [Kindly submitted by ~ahunmaster.]
21) Keep asking him how he lost his optic. [Kindly submitted by ~DarkPanik.]
22) Sedate him and some how get knockout to change his hammer out with a hook and attach a fake pirate beard to him. [Kindly submitted by ~FoxAircurrent.]
23) Continued 22, set something up so when he shifts his hand to the hook, a recording says "arrrgggg matey". [Kindly submitted by ~FoxAircurrent.]
24) Somehow turn breakdown and knockout into fluffy kitties with ko being a female and bd being a male. when ko goes into heat lock him/her in a closet with breakdown for a few days, of coarse giving them food and water. plus 100 points if a few weeks later female kitty ko has kittens and bd becomes a protective daddy XD [Kindly submitted by ~FoxAircurrent.]
25) Everytime he transforms into his car mode his radio plays Hammer Time by McHammer. [Kindly submitted by ~AutobotPace.]
26) Ask him just why a demolition mech is a medic's assistant. If he references Knockout being "better at breaking 'em than fixing them," say Knockout is a badaft and can do whatever he wants. [Kindly submitted by ~SkylerFarrier.]
27) Casually muse that he would look good in a nurse's outfit. Then ask Knockout (within audio range of Breakdown) where Breakdown's outfit is. [Kindly submitted by ~SkylerFarrier.]
28) Call him a black-scottish-cyclops all the time. Nothing else. [Kindly submitted by ~Starscream-TFP.]
29) Or show him this www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxps--… (copy and paste this in your URL) and explain this is him in a nut-shell. [Kindly submitted by ~Starscream-TFP.]
30) Ask him if laserbeak from soundwave is his parrot XD [Kindly submitted by ~thederpmaster.]
31) Ask him if he and bulkhead experimented XD [Kindly submitted by ~thederpmaster.]
32) CALL BREAKDOWN THOR or say BREAKDOWN SMASH. [Kindly submitted by ~thederpmaster.]
33) Ask him if he's a butt pirate and if he scored any booty lately. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]
34) Climb onto his head and say "AVAST, off the starbucks bow!" (He'll also be baffled by you're terminology.) [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]
35) Tell him you need to borrow him for shelf making. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]
36) Sit on his shoulder. When one of the other Decepticons walk into view gasp and say "It's a real live mermaid!" [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]
37) When he's on cleaning duty find him and say "Yar, that's right ye scurvy wench, mop the poop deck!" [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]
38) Ask him what he did to make Bulkhead dump him. [Kindly submitted by ~shozurei.]
39) Ask him how his audition went for Pirates of the Caribbean 5. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
40) Ask him how he could be so gouche as to attack Bulkhead right after he saved his life. [Kindly submitted by ~shozurei.]
41) Ask him if he wants a waxing, then say "Oh sorry. I thought you were Tracks." [Kindly submitted by ~shozurei.]
42) Inform him how behind the curve he is. Hammer time is SO 80's. [Kindly submitted by ~shozurei.]
43) Show all the slash drawings and stories (if there are any) of him and Bulkhead. [Kindly submitted by ~moonstinger.]
44) If you're alive after that, show him all the other slash pairings that include him. [Kindly submitted by ~moonstinger.]
45) If you are STILL alive (primus knows how), ask him if you ruined his life. If he says no, ask him whether all these pairings is the reason he likes Airachnid. Add 2000 points if Airachnid actually overhears you asking him this. 500000 more points if all the 'cons (including the Vehicons) were secretly overhearing the whole 'conversation' from the start AND saw all the drawings along the way. [Kindly submitted by ~moonstinger.]
46) Tell him he did a better job as a Stunticon rather than a medic's assistant OR a Wrecker. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]
47) Tell him Hook from G1 called and said the Contructicons want their job back. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]
48) Tell him that he's a Decepticon and therefore shouldn't impersonate one of the Autobots. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]
49) Ask him how bad that blind spot affects him in a fight then say "Whoops, I forgot, you can't fight." [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]
50) Tell him Knockout likes it when he buffs his aft. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]
51) Kindly inform Breakdown that Bulkhead would be more then happy to make the other eye match. [Kindly submitted by ~TheSilverhyena.]
52) Buy him a pet spider, then ask him if he finds it intriguing. [Kindly submitted by ~Tricktryumph.]
53) Inform him that Knockout is out of his league. [Kindly submitted by ~shozurei.]
54) Paint him up as the Hulk. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
55) Use his missing eye's socket as a storage bin for all of your precious "treasures." Then paint his eye patch to look like a treasure chest. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
56) Dress up Breakdown to look "street," have him carry Soundwave (who you had previously convinced to transform into a Cybertronian-sized boombox), and beg him to break dance whenever MC Hammer plays on the radio. (Make sure MC Hammer is always playing.) [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
57) Refer to him as "Patchy the Pirate." [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
58) Beg him to recite quotes from Pirates of the Caribbean. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
59) Tell him he needs to make a final decision on his Halloween costume. He's either going to dress up as Tracks or as a pirate. He can't do both. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
60) Tell Airachnid that Breakdown suggested #27 on "Ways to Annoy Airachnid." He can just say goodbye to that relationship. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
61) Refer to #'s 57, 59, 60, and 61 on "Ways to annoy Airachnid." [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
62) Inform him that he has poor taste in women, which could be corrected if he got his eye replaced. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
63) Have Breakdown lose his other eye, then purposely set him up on a "blind date" with Soundwave impersonating Airachnid. Record everything. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
64) During said blind date, talk Soundwave (still impersonating Airachnid) into asking Breakdown for a kiss. Then have Soundwave place a mule in front of him, with its hind end facing Breakdown's lips. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
65) Give a copy of the video to Airachnid and another copy to Bulkhead. Give Breakdown his eye back, then have him watch the whole thing, threatening to have Soundwave show the video to the entire crew of the Nemesis if he kills you. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
66) Remind him of how easily he was taken down by Ratchet. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
67) Give Breakdown an eye examine every 20 minutes. [Kindly submitted by ~julie797.]
68) get a giant spider plush and hug it in front of breakdown and when he starts looking at you,say "are you jealous?" in the most spoiled tone ever. [Kindly submitted by ~julie797.]
69) It would be funny if someone challenged him to a darts competition... yes, that's the only thing missing. Darts. [Kindly submitted by ~placeusernamehere.]
70) Say "Tracks called, he wants his paint job back." [Kindly submitted by ~placeusernamehere.]
71) Tell him that Knockout is taking a video of Mirage pranking him in his sleep. [Kindly submitted by ~Elite-Guard-Jazz.]
72) When he find out that you lied, (See above) blackmail him with pictures of Airachnid on his back, and threaten to put these in Megatron's room. [Kindly submitted by ~Elite-Guard-Jazz.]
73) Ask Breakdown if he and Shockwave know the same breast implant surgeon. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
74) Ask him if he knows that female spiders eat their mates. [Kindly submitted by ~DecepiGal.]
75) Prance (And when I say prance, I don't mean skip, I mean PRANCE.) around him singing "Pirates life for me" from pirates of the Caribbean. He'll have thought you stopped with the pirate jokes by then. He was wrong. [Kindly submitted by ~placeusernamehere.]
76) Show Breakdown all of the pics and stories involving Knockout and Starscream as a couple and keep asking if he's jealous. If Breakdown show obvious signs of being jealous or even outright admits it make sure you record it somehow and show it to Knockout later. [Kindly submitted by ~jokergirl129.]
77) Never call him by name, just sing (or play) any of the many song titled "Breakdown". [Kindly submitted by ~placeusernamehere.]
78) Hand him a jar of dirt and tell him Jack said to entrust it to him. You could even then say it has Megatron's spark in it or something. [Kindly submitted by ~whatayamacholit.]
79) Tell Breakdown that his eyepatch was made of Knockout's tears. [Kindly submitted by ~BloodyRose11.]
80) Say exactly these words to Breakdown; "I see yer were spending lots o' time on da ship there, matey! I suggest yer get yer'self some sunscreen 'cause yer face is all red. ARRR!"[Kindly submitted by ~BloodyRose11.]
81) Every time he stares into space, ask him if he's daydreaming about Knockout/Airachnid/Bulkhead. [Kindly submitted by ~BloodyRose11.]
82) Stand across the room from breakdown, hold a big plush spider in the air and yell "Breakdown! We have you babies! If you want them back talk to Bulkhead!" then run. [Kindly submitted by ~julie797.]
83) Ask Breakdown where`s all the rum and food gone. [Kindly submitted by ~Wolf-mask.]
84) Everytime he stops walking, running, talking, pauses, transforms from car to robot mode, robot mode to car, DOES ANYTHING, scream "STOP! ITS HAMMER TIME dunnn dund dun dunnn" while doin a little dance with a troll face mask on, a "umad bro" shirt with his slash/smut pics all over the shirt around that phrase, on your pants and a HAT. [Kindly submitted by ~Aris9.
85) When you get tired, hire Soundwave to rig the ship to have screens that play you doing that, and to rig his body to play your voice saying above phrase. [Kindly submitted by ~Aris9.
86) Ask him if he enjoyed MECH taking him apart. Bonus points if he says yes or blushes. [Kindly submitted by ~calbopalbo.]
87) Sing "yo ho ho and a bottle of rum" incessantly whenever he's around. [Kindly submitted by ~calbopalbo.]
88) Play the "hero of canton" whenever he walks into a room. [Kindly submitted by ~MLAAT.]
89) Then give him a orange knited beany and say it's from his motherboard. [Kindly submitted by ~MLAAT.]
90) Ask him if dating Knockout and Ariachnid at the same time is stressful. [Kindly submitted by ~awesomepatrica.]
91) Stand behind him without him knowing and suddenly say "Is it hard to have an ass that big?" [Kindly submitted by ~awesomepatrica.]
92) Every time Breakdown enters the room ask Soundwave to play "You are a pirate" over and over again until he leaves. Then follow him and sing the song. [Kindly submitted by ~awesomepatrica.]
93) Tell Breakdown Airachnid left him for Lockdown. [Kindly submitted by ~StarryMary.]
94) Beg Breakdown to shout the phrase,"MY PLOOKA'S NOT SQUIRMING! I ORDERED LIIIIIIVE PLOOKA! YOU HEAR ME?! LIVE!LIVE!LIVE! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL MOVIN' WHEN IT GETS ON MY PLATE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! HUH?!!!" over and over again. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
95) Constantly add quickly-spoken jokes about Airachnid killing him in the future to your sentences any time you're talking to Breakdown. If he ever says, "What?" just reply, "Foreshadowing." [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
96) Convince the Vehicon troops to build a Breakdown-sized coffin near Breakdown's quarters as the namesake Decepticon passes by. Bonus points if you are able to convince the troops to (tearfully) make remarks about how they'll miss "the one bot who cared." [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
97) On the headboard of Breakdown's bed, paint the phrase,"Here lies Breakdown. He had a crush on a spider; but the spider had a bigger crush on him." 1000 points extra if you replaced the headboard of his bed with a giant tombstone made of energon. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
98) Constantly ask Breakdown if he would rather be buried, cremated, or have his dismembered body reassembled and posessed by a human terrorist. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
99) Strongly convince Megatron to dress up as the Grim Reaper and omninously loom over Breakdown's bed, staring evilly at the nervous Decepticon as he tries to fall asleep. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]
100) Hire that one lady from "America's Got Talent" that sang a song for the "recently deceased" Piers Morgan to sing a song for the still-alive-but-soon-to-be-dead Breakdown, every fifteen minutes. Be sure she sticks around long enough to sing a song for him after he dies, too. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]