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August 30, 2011
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100 Ways to Annoy Airachnid:

1) Send Starscream after Airachnid and watch him squish her with his fabulous heels.

2) Sit around and name ways to kill spiders and mention how much you love to watch their legs twitch when they're dying.

3) Ask Airachnid how her relationship is with Arcee.

4) Ask Airachnid how her relationship is with Jack Darby.

5) Smirk at Airachnid and tell her you're sorry about losing all of her severed heads due to Jack Darby. What's with the face? Too soon?

6) After said 5, ask if Airachnid started re-collecting yet and then snap your fingers and announce, "Oh that's right, you must be having a hard time with Autobots on your tail and 'cons not trusting your webby ass."

7) Say that Airachnid only 'flies solo', per say, is not because others fear her or that she likes to but because she's ugly.

8) Tell Airachnid you feel sorry… that Breakdown ever had to have her attached to him. Poor guy!

9) Mention just how low and disgraceful it is for a 'con to go working with MECH, no matter how solitary said 'con may be.

10) Ask Airachnid if killing Arcee's partnerts gets her off. And if so, is it because Arcee turned her down?

11) Point out to Airachnid that she's honestly doing no better than Starscream was so she should stop acting so surperior.

12) Also mention that Starscream makes a better loner then her. You bet he's actually doing more than sitting in a web and whining about the loss of severed heads.

13) Laugh and tell Airachnid that Megatron is sure to squish her like a bug after he's through using her resources. Second-in-commands mean nothing to him really.

14) Put webbing all over the Nemesis and tell Megatron that Airachnid's trying to either make it more like Halloween or is possibly going to lay some eggs…

15) Go after Airachnid with cans of bug spray, fly-swatters, and other bug-killing devices.

16) Tell her that her existence is meaningless because she is an unoriginal, shameless rip-off of the much cooler and more popular Blackarachnia. [Kindly submitted by *daughter-of-Myou.]

17) Say within hearing of Arachnid how the only reason Airachnid would make a better SIC than Starscream is that she is unquestionably a femme and Megatron must have gotten tired of 'Bots and 'Cons speculating whether Megatron is straight or gay. [Kindly submitted by ~SkylerFarrier.]

18) Have her watch the scene from "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" where all those spiders get run over or blasted while Harry and Ron escape the Forbidden Forest. [Kindly submitted by ~ahunmaster.]

19) After showing her HPatCoS, get a snake or toy basilisk and use that to try to scare her away. 100 points if she does get scared and runs away, 100 more for every con or bot that sees her running when you do this. [Kindly submitted by ~ahunmaster.]

20) If your still alive after the last two, then have her watch the scene from "HP and the Goblet of Fire" where Moody tortures the spiders in his lesson. [Kindly submitted by ~ahunmaster.]

21) (slight spoilers) Ask her if she has any relationship to the stupid spider from the movie "It". [Kindly submitted by ~ahunmaster.]

22) When she walks by start laughing. When she asks what's so funny simply say "Megatron is going to rip you to pieces." [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

23) Accuse her of using witch craft on Breakdown. How else would he say she's attractive? [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

24) Run around screaming that she likes to chase after human boys. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

25) Tell her that the only spider former that matters is Black Arachnia from the Beast Wars generation. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

26) Tell her that Starscream was the best second in command. If she says she'll do a better job tell her she'll be dead within a Vorn. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

27) Ask how much she weighs. [Kindly submitted by ~Your-Breakdown.]

28) While she is recharging paint her up like spiderman. [Kindly submitted by *Twilightzonegirl13.]

29) After painting her like Spiderman, take your remaining pain and go on a crafting spree. Make little (to Cybertronians) eggs (paper-mache, ceramic, whatever) and paint them. Then leave them in random places. [Kindly submitted by ~SkylerFarrier.]

30) Much later, after many 'Cons have noticed and commented on them, start a discussion about what a bad mother she is. [Kindly submitted by ~SkylerFarrier.]

31) And, if you are still alive, speculate what a half-Megatron-half-freaky-spider-bot sparkling would look like. Do this within audio range of Airachnid, but away from Megatron and maybe Soundwave, too. Cheating death is "fun [but] only when you're winning." [Kindly submitted by ~SkylerFarrier.]

32) Ask her why she even bothers flirting since her acid spit pretty much ruins any kissing or other mouth-related activities. [Kindly submitted by ~SkylerFarrier.]

33) Say Megatron wishes you never came back to the 'boy's club'. [Kindly submitted by ~thederpmaster.]

34) The reason Breakdown thinks your a little attractive is because he only has one optic. [Kindly submitted by ~thederpmaster.]

35) Keep calling her Black Arachnia. [Kindly submitted by ~DarkPanik.]

36) Sing 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' whenever she's near. [Kindly submitted by ~DarkPanik.]

37) Sing the spider man theme song when she walks past. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

38) Yell at her telling that she needs to stop scratching up the floors and ceilings with her spindly legs. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

39) Tell her she should cut down on how much energon she ingests, she's getting fat. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

40) Tell her that Arcee is the sexiest femme you've ever seen. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

41) Rig her door to her quarters to play videos of spiders being squished, eaten alive by wasp larvee, other spiders, scorpians and eaten by humans over and over again everytime she walks into her room. [Kindly submitted by ~FoxAircurrent.]

42) Buy a pet lizard and the next time you find a spider feed it to it, making sure shes watching. then continue feeding it all the spiders you find right in front of her so she can watch them being eaten. [Kindly submitted by ~FoxAircurrent.]

43) Make her watch "Arachniphobia" with you, and when the baby spiders start crawling all over the house, scream "OH MY GOD, I DIDN'T KNOW MEGATRON WAS A DADDY!!" [Kindly submitted by ~Cinnamonfur.]

44) Convince Soundwave to record footage of two spiders mating on the Discovery channel. Then, whenever Airachnid and Breakdown are in the same room, have him play it on repeat with the Benny Hill theme as a soundtrack. 100 points if Airachnid snaps first, with 100 more if she injures Soundwave in retaliation. Bonus points if the event leaves Breakdown traumatised. [Kindly submitted by *daughter-of-Myou.]

45) Ask her if she is related to Shrapnel. When she claims that she would eat that parasite for breakfast, giggle and say "With a face like that, I doubt he'd let you even sit next to him." [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

46) Ask her if being banned from even threatening Decepticon pets ticks her off. Bonus points if she says Skyler will die first. [Kindly submitted by ~SkylerFarrier.]

47) Within earshot, ask Knockout what "comment" Megatron made that convinced her to try and rid herself of her organic half. [Kindly submitted by ~SkylerFarrier.]

48) Ask her if she enjoys being a halfling freak of nature. [Kindly submitted by ~SkylerFarrier.]

49) The next time she complains about Earth, tell her the planet bites. And add that, since she is a techno-organic, she is at risk for rabies. 100 points if she goes to Knockout for a checkup. [Kindly submitted by ~SkylerFarrier.]

50) Tell her that she reminds you of Sleeping Beauty. Arcee was the Beauty, and she was the one who made you fall asleep. [Kindly submitted by Austin-Comix-Inc.]

51) Have her watch the Predator, Alien vs. Predator, and Alien movies with you, then claim that she's like a Predator to you, since she's into all that head-hunting stuff. Once she claims it's possible, respond casually by saying, "Especially when you consider the fact that Alien females are much more attractive." [Kindly submitted by Austin-Comix-Inc.]

52) While she's in power-down mode, paint in bright, neon colors 'PROPERTY OF BREAKDOWN/MEGATRON/VEHICON TROOPS/ETC, ETC' or 'INSERT HERE' on her aft. Enjoy the show when she wakes up! [Kindly submitted by Austin-Comix-Inc.]

53) If you're still alive, and if she's back in power-down mode, add to her chest-plate 'PROPERTY OF ARCEE,' 'HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR SPIDER EGGS?' or 'TOUCH AT YOUR OWN RISK.' [Kindly submitted by Austin-Comix-Inc.]

54) If you're STILL NOT DEAD, play the song "Legs" by ZZ Top every time she walks by (especially if she's walking on six of them.) Bonus points if you get Soundwave to play the song for you. [Kindly submitted by Austin-Comix-Inc.]

55) If you still have managed to cheat death once more, convince all of the Decepticon Troops to call her "Dairy Air-achnid." [Kindly submitted by Austin-Comix-Inc.]

56) If you and the Troops are still intact, convince the Troops to also sing "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mixalot as she passes by. Bonus points if Soundwave joins in. [Kindly submitted by Austin-Comix-Inc.]

57) With Breakdown standing next to her, pinch Airachnid's butt. When she turns around and demands to know why you did that, convincingly say, "Whaddaya lookin' at me for?! Breakdown's the pirate nabbin' the booty!" [Kindly submitted by Austin-Comix-Inc.]

58) Play "Tush" by ZZ Top as she walks by. (If she hadn't killed you yet for all the songs you've played, she probably will right about now.) [Kindly submitted by Austin-Comix-Inc.]

59) When Breakdown and Airachnid are alone in the same room, have the song "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne play out of nowhere. "Oh Yeah" by Yello works too. [Kindly submitted by Austin-Comix-Inc.]

60) Convince Breakdown that Airachid has the hots for him, and that she likes it best when men cut the chit-chat and go straight for the badonkadonk. Then run as far away and as fast as you can before both of them come and try to kill you. [Kindly submitted by Austin-Comix-Inc.]

61) Make a transformers-sized French maid outfit. Show it to Airachnid and say in the cheeriest voice possible, "Breakdown wanted me to give this to you." [Kindly submitted by Austin-Comix-Inc.]

62) Convince Soundwave to record Airachnid while she's in the shower. Then have the video play on every screen on the Nemesis. Be sure to send a copy to Arcee and Jack, too. [Kindly submitted by Austin-Comix-Inc.]

63) Convince her that "hissing is for snakes and not for spiders." Then ask her to repeat exactly what you just said without hissing. Good luck! [Kindly submitted by Austin-Comix-Inc.]

64) Ask her why she resembles Maleficent from Disney's Sleeping Beauty. (Copy and paste this URL:…. [Kindly submitted by ~PhantomMuse.]

65) Chase Airachnid around with a box of scraplets screaming, "IT'S OKAY AIRACHNID!!! I FOUND YOUR BABIES!!!" [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

66) As soon as Airachnid passes by a load of Decepticon Troops during said chase, also shout, "HEY! STOP RUNNING!! YOU STILL NEED TO GIVE THEM THEIR ENERGON-MILK!!!" [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

67) Once Airachnid manages to evade you and her 'babies,' somehow train the scraplets to get themselves inside of the Vehicons, then burst out of their chests Chestburster-style. Show Megatron the damage and pin the blaim on Airachnid. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

68) Go to your local butcher's shop and order at least 2 extra long, extra large intestines normally used for bratwurst. Lay them out on Airachnid's bed and spell out in rose petals, "All for you, Babe. Love, Soundwave." [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

69) Ask her if she uses her webbing to tie herself up for Breakdown during 'that special occasion,' or if that sort of thing is reserved for Arcee. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

70)Within her hearing range, constantly tell indecent jokes regarding Airachnid to the Decepticon Troops. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

71) Convince Knock Out to lend you his electric staff, then use it to zap Airachnid's butt, shouting, "BUG ZAPPER!!!!" every time you attack. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

72) If you're still alive, and Airachnid can no longer feel (or use) her legs, turn to Breakdown and say in a suggestive voice, "She's all yours, partner." [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

73) While she's asleep, dreaming about how she will get her revenge on you, paint her entirely in pink, then add a false pig nostril to her face. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

74) Then have all of the Decepticon Troops sing "Spider Pig" like a barber shop quartet when she passes by them the next morning. Over 9000 points extra if she's walking upside-down on the ceiling at the time. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

75) Praise her for having outsmarted and ditched that low-down liar Starscream. Once she turns around and thanks you, say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I though you were Blackarachnia." [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

76) Meet Airachnid, before all of the miserable torture you are about to put her through. When she asks, "Who are you?" you say in a demonic voice, "I am the gate keeper to Hell, and I'm about to open the gate upon you." [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

77) Place a dozen used port-a-potties inside Airachnid's room, then have you and your friends use them after eating nothing but carnival food for the past three days. Once you exit, leave the stool doors wide open to spread the sweet gut-wrenching smell of victory throughout the room. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

78) Strategically tip over at least one of the port-a-potties to spill out all of its contents onto her floor. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

79) While she's showering all that crap off of her, redirect the source of the shower fluids to an army of fully-loaded septic trucks. Make sure that she can't turn the shower off, by the way. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

80) Once she finally cleans herself off using a DIFFERENT shower, rig a large vat of hot milk to spill all over her once she opens the door to her room again. Then call her Dairy-Air-achnid again. Start running or you'll die. [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

81) While Airachnid is in stasis mode, drop 10 pounds of antacid pills into her mouth. Once she wakes up, try to get her to spit on you, and laugh when she can't. (She can still kill you though, so you should probably run while you're laughing.) [Kindly submitted by ~Austin-Comix-Inc.]

82) While she's restrained in med bay start poking at her optics sharply asking if she's high all the time and that's why hers are purple. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

83) Inform Megatron that Airachnid must have stolen his dark energon because her eyes are clearly influenced by it. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

84) Inform her that you would love to fly around in the most graceful and deadly Decepticon flier. Now how can you convince Starscream to give you a ride. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

85) Tell her that she needs to get to the wash racks because her Mascara is running. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

86)In accordance with the above suggestion ask if she was crying because Arcee refuses to go out with her. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

87) When Arcee and Airachnid get into a fight use one of the comm. links on a vehicon to tell all Decepticons (including her) that a bitch fight just started. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

88) During said fight yell out to Arcee that you would absolutely love to see Airachnid hog tied. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

89) Inform her that all Decepticons, despite all the different generations, are mechs and that's the only way Megatron will allow it. It's okay, she can inform the guys she's a she-he. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

90) Tell her she'll never make friends if she keeps trying to steal the other peoples boyfriends. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

91) Act surprised when you see her and say "I didn't know the had sluts on kid shows." [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

92) Convince all the drones (and only the drones) to look at her funny whenever she walks past. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

93) Tell her that her chest plating looks totally fabricated. Really, there's no shame in being a dude. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

94) Collect as many carcasses as you can and pile them in her room then tell Megatron she's bringing dead animals back on board the ship. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

95) Tell her that she missed her generation by a couple thousand years in the future. She is Black Arachnia, right? [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

96) Ask her how her first beating went after episode twenty. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

97) Inform her every five minutes that Magatron would like to see her in his quarters. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

98) When she stops in her tracks spit on her and ask "Guess what loser I'm pretending to be right now?" [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

99) Ask her how stupid she felt after coming back empty handed at the end of episode 20. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]

100)Ask if she was jealous of Starscream and that's why she ditched him, because, clearly, Megatron loves him more then he loves her. [Kindly submitted by *isscaris.]
Suggestions Closed.

Results may vary upon being said/done to Airachnid. We're fairly certain he'll be far from pleased with any of them, however...

Because I loathe that spider :iconairachnid-tf: with a passion.

Check out the Autobot Installment by looking in this deviation's authors comment:…

Other Installments in the Series:
(#) Ways to Annoy Knockout
(#) Ways to Annoy Starscream
(#) Ways to Annoy Megatron
(#) Ways to Annoy Soundwave
(#) Ways to Annoy Breakdown
(#) Ways to Annoy Shockwave
(#) Ways to Annoy Steve
(#) Ways to Annoy Skywarp
(#) Ways to Annoy Thundercracker
(#) Ways to Annoy Blitzwing
(#) Ways to Annoy Lugnut
(#) Ways to Annoy Unicron
(#) Ways to Annoy Skyquake
(#) Ways to Annoy Dreadwing

Transformers is owned by Hasbro and others.
Deviation and first 15 ideas come from =RoyalBlackheart.
Idea 16 comes from *daughter-of-Myou.
Idea 17 comes from ~SkylerFarrier.
Ideas 18-21 come from *ahunmaster.
Ideas 22-26 come from *isscaris.
Idea 27 comes from ~Your-Breakdown.
Idea 28 comes from ~Twilightzonegirl13.
Ideas 29-33 come from ~SkylerFarrier.
Idea 34 comes from !thederpmaster.
Ideas 35 & 36 come from ~DarkPanik.
Ideas 37-40 come from *isscaris.
Ideas 41 & 42 come from ~FoxAircurrent.
Idea 43 comes from ~Cinnamonfur.
Idea 44 comes from *daughter-of-Myou.
Idea 45 comes from ~Austin-Comix-Inc.
Ideas 46-49 come from ~SkylerFarrier.
Ideas 50-63 come from ~Austin-Comix-Inc.
Idea 64 comes from ~PhantomMuse.
Ideas 65-81 come from ~Austin-Comix-Inc.
Ideas 82-100 come from *isscaris.
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Nightflame198 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013
How do you humans come up with these?
There so lolz.
Just don't do one about me untile you ask ok ? Well I meen if you want to.
MudkipPrime Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Hobbyist
I agree these are hilarious.
Nightflame198 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014
MudkipPrime Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist
Nightflame198 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
MudkipPrime Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist
Nightflame198 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014
MudkipPrime Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014  Hobbyist
DarienStitcher001 Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2013
Holy sweet god lol this is literally a monument to a day with nothing to do am I right?
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